To Tickle a Dragon
by KnightAmemait
Summary: Gina has a secret, and it’s one that might spell trouble. Crossover with Harry Potter. Chapter Six: de gozaru OR es!
1. sine canem iace dormitus

To Tickle A Dragon

By JK Fie'r

Summary: Gina has a secret, and it's one that might spell trouble. Crossover with Harry Potter.

Disclaimer: I don't own The Bill or Harry Potter.

JK: -cough- Yes people, a Harry Potter crossover, yes indeed. And yet… I don't think that anyone has written one for The Bill before. If they have, I would like to know.

This fic was inspired by my mother… Well, I say inspired, what I really mean is forced out of me.

While I should really be working on my other stories - and my beta work - this one has been bugging me quite a bit recently. So, without further ado, let the fic begin!

--

Prologue

-

"Look at me Craig. I'm a witch."

Craig quirked the barest of smiles, before turning back to his drink. Gina smiled softly to herself. There was no way anybody could have gotten anything from that sentence beyond a joke between two friends.

She was a witch. It didn't mean that she shouldn't be careful. Passing it off as a joke between herself and Craig was risky, but she felt it necessary in this instance. Her sergeant needed the reassurance.

Yeah, that was it.

It wasn't that she wanted someone to know.

Of course it wasn't.

_And if that were true,_ a tiny part of her muttered, _then you're a fish_.

Damn.

--

Chapter One: sine canem iace dormitus

Subtitled: Let Sleeping Dogs Lie

-

_Tick-tock-tick-tock-tick-tock…_

If that clock didn't stop doing that, Gina was going to… was going to…

Oh, the hell with it, she was going to keep ignoring it, no matter how much it got on her nerves. It was just another piece of furniture, in a room best described as a crime scene, and at worst described as a nightmare.

In fact, considering the rest of the room's state, it was probably amazing that the clock was still here at all, let alone in working order.

"It's not looking very promising," the expert finished up, and Gina tuned back in.

"Pardon?"

"Any chance that the poor bloke died of anything but a heart attack from the sheer shock of it all. No marks on him. Either whomever did this found him lying dead here in the first place, or he came in afterwards, saw the mess, and collapsed. Of course-" here the woman snapped off her latex gloves, standing and looking at the mess about her "-I'll arrange for a post-mortem and fingerprints. Who knows, something could turn up. I wouldn't count on it though."

"Hm? Oh, thanks."

CID still weren't here yet. Gina had a feeling that this was a Good Thing.

There are always ways to tell whether or not a place belonged to someone who practiced magic. Pictures that moved were always a pretty good clue, but no Wizard who lived around too many muggles would have such a thing out in the open.

Wands however, were another story altogether. She'd found that in a corner of the room. No Wizard worth his salt would misplace his wand in a place like that, and it was at just the sort of angle that an Expelliarmus charm would send it flying to.

When you were a Witch on the Police Force, you tended to notice things like that. What others might take for a small stick, Gina knew as a wand. What a well-meaning Crime-Scene Investigator might take a picture of, Gina knew was a complex mathematical equation, written in the runes used for Arithmancy.

And what a few might see as a cloud of smoke in a fire, Gina knew to be the Dark Mark.

Thankfully, there was no fire, and no Dark Mark either, but the death of this Wizard still worried her.

Her past had been bound to catch up on her sooner or later. Until then, she'd just let the sleeping dog lie.

For now, however…

Gina checked that the wand was still in her pocket, then hurried outside to greet the CID officers, whoever they were, knowing full well that they wouldn't find a thing.

Maybe she'd send a message to the Ministry later.

--

JK: Comments? Criticism? Go right on ahead, say it. Flames may be used to make s'mores, but that's about it.


	2. caveat emptor

To Tickle A Dragon

By JK Fie'r

Disclaimer: I don't own The Bill or Harry Potter.

Warnings: Kiwi spelling.

Other notes: Thanks go to KMLo2 for beta-ing this chapter for me.

JK: I'd like to give a hearty thanks to all who reviewed the first chapter. Your support is welcomed, and highly enjoyed. Also, thank you to all who read the first chapter, even if you didn't review.44 hits is more than half the number received by my most popular story to date, and that thing is twelve chapters.

I have now read the fic called 'The Return' (thanks toTamba for pointing it out to me, otherwise I would never have found it), and, I must say, I intend to make mine better. Call it a challenge.

Please, read on...

--

Chapter Two: caveat emptor

Subtitled: Let The Buyer Beware

--

Gina raised a polite eyebrow at the man in front of her.

"You ain't got nuffink on me!"

A double negative. Wonderful. Not only did she have to deal with a criminal Wizard, but she had to deal with one whose parents had never taught the basic laws of grammar to.

Resisting the urge to rub at her forehead tiredly, or maybe go off somewhere for a fag, she graced the Wizard with a look.

"You do realise that the principle of 'let the buyer beware' went out with the ancient Romans, don't you Mister Southall?" P.C. Des Taviner, who was actually smarter than people would often give him credit for, asked coolly. His accent made the words sound a little like an accusation, which was possibly, Gina reflected, part of the reason he'd survived thus far in the Force. The tone of voice took people off their guard, made it easier for them to slip up, easier for Des to get the results needed.

"As far as I'm aware, it's up to the customer whether or not to buy any of what I sell," was the equally cool answer.

"Desmond, I don't think we're going to get anything more out of him at the moment. Go tell the duty sergeant that Mr. Southall will be staying with us for a little bit longer."

"Ma'am," Des replied, rising from the table smoothly. Anything to get out of there!

Once the P.C. had left, Inspector Gold turned back to the prisoner.

"Interview suspended, ten twenty-five," she said, hitting the _stop_ button on the tape recorder.

"We have your wand. We have the gear. I've alerted the Ministry, someone from the Department of the Misuse of Muggle Artefacts will be down here shortly. I suggest you consider your next few moves _very_ carefully, Mr. Southall."

Trevor Southall's eyes were very wide at this point.

"You're one of us? What're you doing here then? You should be joining us! These muggles deserve it, the idiots have it coming-"

"Ma'am?" the door opened behind her, and Sheelagh Murphy's voice rang out behind her.

"It's all right Sergeant, you can come on in."

"Ma'am, there's someone here from Barton Street to pick up Mr. Southall."

Gina smiled, and Trevor decided that there was something just a little sinister about the supposedly kind expression.

"Thank you Sergeant Murphy."

"Ma'am, a word, please."

Giving one last sarcastic smile to the hapless Wizard, Gina left the interview room.

"Yes, Sergeant?"

"Ma'am, are you sure about this? You caught him fair and square and you're just letting him go to Barton Street?"

Gina shrugged.

"This is one case that I don't mind letting that lot take care of, Sergeant, and I really don't think it's any of your business which nick he ends up in. All right?"

"…Ma'am."

Sheelagh left, presumably to go talk to the copper from Barton Street – really another Witch or Wizard in disguise.

Part of Gina was rebelling, it really was. She hadn't exactly _wanted_ to spend most of her day going through the paperwork that always accompanied a prisoner transfer, let alone the extra forms that went with Wizards (the combination of various spells to prevent Muggles from noticing the parchment pieces gave her a headache each time she had to deal with them).

That and…

She'd left the Wizarding world behind her when she'd left school to work in her father's shop, she'd thought it was _over_.

Of course, then she'd gotten to Stanford, and found out all about the extra classes. The ones with a certain emphasis on wands rather than words. The ones that took place at odd hours, and in even odder places.

Yet it hadn't bothered her. Gina Gold, never one to roll over and play dead, had simply accepted the fact that there were a few other Witches and Wizards who went into the Met, a few others who'd had the same idea as she, had accepted that there were a few crimes committed by those of the Magical world that would go undetected by the systems in place at the Ministry.

Still.

It had been bad enough when she'd had to deal with that whole 'Mad-Eye Moody' incident last year. Leaving a paper-trail was difficult enough without parts of that paper-trail being invisible to most of her fellow officers.

This was the second time in three days. The second time in _three days_.

There were no leads on who'd killed off the old man. After hemming and hawing over the idea in the car, she'd reported the incident to the Ministry.

They'd told her not to worry.

Not to worry! There was a Wizard dead on her patch, who had first been disarmed with the _Expelliarmus_ charm, and then in all likelihood had _Avada Kedavra_ used on him.

_Avada Kedavra._

The killing curse; an Unforgivable.

Someone had used an Unforgivable curse in her area, and the Ministry had told her not to worry.

And in the meantime, she had a prisoner to transfer.

--

JK: Comment! Feel free to. I like getting comments. They make me feel happy.

MTFBWY!


	3. olim

To Tickle A Dragon

By JK Fie'r

Disclaimer: I don't own The Bill or Harry Potter.

Warnings: Kiwi spelling

JK: Can you say 'filler chapter'? I wrote this one around the time I was writing chapter one, but it didn't quite fit with the story just then. So, here's a chapter devoted to filling in space while I work on my Latin. Sorry if it's a bit of a disappointment to anybody.

--

Chapter Three: olim…

Subtitled: once upon a time…

-

Gina stared around the railway station. It wasn't exactly Kings Cross, but it was almost the same.

She hadn't been to Kings Cross in years. That time around, she'd been a wet-behind-the-ears P.C., chasing after someone that CID had been after.

Funny. Now that she thought about it, she couldn't remember the guy's name.

She'd followed him to Kings Cross, where a D.S. from CID had got the bloke.

That hadn't been what had made the day so memorable though.

--

Years ago, Kings Cross station:

"Um, hello there, do you think you could help me? I'm afraid I'm a little bit lost at the moment."

Gina turned around to look at the girl who had just addressed her. She looked about eleven despite her rather short stature, with a mass of short hair in the colour commonly known as 'strawberry blonde', which somehow managed to stick out at odd angles, as though she had just come in out of the wind. She was dressed casually in jeans and a t-shirt, but that wasn't really important.

What was important was the owl in a cage that was perched, quite innocently, atop a school trunk.

The girl looked down nervously at her feet for a second, before smiling up at Gina with forced cheeriness.

"Um, this might sound a bit of a silly question, but do you think you could show me the way to platform nine and three quarters?"

Gina blinked, then smiled faintly.

"First year at Hogwarts?"

The girl looked astonished as she nodded. Gina glanced around, then nodded in the direction of platform ten.

"Come on."

Gina mentally counted the archways as she heard the girl trail behind her.

_One… Two… Three._

Gina glanced around again as she waited for the girl to catch up. Having made sure that no one was listening, she looked back at the girl.

"It's just beyond that wall there," she nodded to the end of the arch. "It's the sixth wall, if that helps you to remember. Don't be afraid that you'll just walk into stone, otherwise you won't be able to get through."

Gina looked down at the girl again.

"Don't be afraid. It may be best if you do it the first few times at a bit of a run, just until you get used to it, okay?"

The girl nodded.

"Thank you ever so much."

Gina waved a hand idly.

"Eh, I had problems the first time around as well. I had to guess how to get through, and I know how embarrassing it can be if you get it wrong."

Looking up briefly, Gina caught sight of the time.

"I suggest you go through now. We don't want you to miss the train, do we?"

The girl shook her head vehemently, then steeled herself. She took a few steps backwards, before she ran up to the barrier.

A moment later, and the girl had vanished.

--

JK: Short, isn't it? Ah, well. Feel free to review, and may the Force be with you!


	4. nunquam ora equii gratum inspice

To Tickle A Dragon

By JK Fie'r

Disclaimer: I don't own The Bill or Harry Potter.

Warnings: Kiwi spelling

Other notes:

JK: Don't be afraid to hit the review button and tell me what you think. I don't care if you flame me (I've even bought a packet of marshmallows just for the occasion), I just want to know what you think. To those who have reviewed already, thank you. I'd do a reply section about here-ish, but there're a few rumours going around about those who reply in the story part getting suspended. So, even though I want to reply to any unsigned reviews, I can't. Sorry!

--

Chapter Four: nunquam ora equii gratum inspice

Subtitled: Never Look A Gift Horse In The Mouth

-

There was, Gina decided, something incredibly creepy about Legilimency. 'Hearing' what other people were thinking, sometimes being able to access their memories…

Shudder.

Still, once she'd learnt how to control it, so she only picked up on surface thoughts, it could be a rather fun ability: something she could seriously use to her advantage, in many and varied ways.

Scaring subordinates, to name but one. And _everybody_ passed by her office at least once a day, it was right in the middle of the station, it was practically impossible to get through the hours without taking a route that went in front of the room at one point or another.

P.C. Best was thinking about his grandmother moving into a home, and wondering if he could get the day off next week to help transport her possessions.

That was dealt with easily enough. A few quick clicks on the computer, and the roster for the next six weeks was tweaked. Good thing she'd found out about it now, something like that could have become could have been highly annoying in a few hours.

Sgt. Ackland was mulling over a case.

Something about a wife-beater, pretty serious too. She'd better leave that one alone, there were some things that just shouldn't be done, and ribbing Saint June about her work when the Hot Chocolate (not, as some helpful young P.C. on the B Relief had written 'Chocate'. Some people…) wasn't working on the machine was one of them. Gina had learnt her lesson the last time that had happened.

P.C. Carver was busying himself with thoughts about what he'd say at his next AA meeting.

"Stiff upper lip Carver. Remember: One day at a time…"

Carver stopped, blinked once in surprise at Gina, and then nodded.

"Thank you ma'am."

P.C. Tony Stamp had settled down in the canteen to ponder the meaning of life over a cup of coffee.

"Anthony?" Gina called from the entranceway, doors still swinging behind her.

"Yes ma'am," he answered, in the distinct mixture of cheerful and neutral that characterised his voice.

"Why aren't you out on patrol?"

"I'm having a cup of coffee ma'am. I've been out all morni-"

"I don't care about that Tony; what I _do_ care about is the fact that both you and P.C. Taviner have decided that now would make a good time for a coffee break, and since you've been here longer…"

Trail off, wait, let him draw his own conclusions.

Tony reluctantly put down his coffee.

"Ma'am," he replied, the cheerfulness subdued.

Even without the Legilimency, Gina could have read the voice – and facial expression – like a book.

_Resignation/Duty/Darn, and this was a good cuppa too…_

Merlin, the man had no idea how much he gave away, just in his body language.

"Oh, all right, you can finish your coffee first. Three minutes Tony."

"Ma'am!"

The happiness was back.

One-and-a-three-quarter minutes later, and P.C. Stamp was scuttling out of the canteen.

Oh yeah. Legilimency was still creepy to use, but one should never look a gift horse in the mouth.

--

JK: Another short chapter, I'm afraid, with nothing about the wizard-murder in it again. Of course, I never intended to make it a major plot point, but the bunnies are mauling, and…

…Reviews help me write more…


	5. interea una

To Tickle A Dragon

By JK Fie'r

Disclaimer: I don't own The Bill or Harry Potter.

Warnings: Kiwi spelling

Other notes:

First off, I hereby offer thanks to Adela Nightmoon, for correcting my spelling of a canon Harry Potter word in the previous chapter. bene facis!

Secondly, I offer a slight warning about this chapter. See, it's not really a chapter. It's actually what happens when I'm panicking slightly over what to write to keep people guessing (and therefore, with luck, still interested), while I take a little trip, during which time I'm not likely to be able to access this website.

Therefore, I give you the first two interludes of To Tickle a Dragon. Tell me what you think of them. If they are liked, I will continue writing them, posting them within the chapters as I go along. If you don't want them, then I'll just collect and post them as a sidefic (If I end up doing this, the title will be draco titillatio – Tickling the Dragon).

In any case, I implore you to review and give forth your verdict on the matter.

--

Interlude Number One: To whit.

--

The first thing that Gina noticed as she walked past the house was the owl perched on the chimney. It glared balefully down at her.

"To-who."

To whom, Gina mentally corrected, holding back a chuckle. The last thing she needed was P.C. Hollis spreading it about the station that she was losing her senses.

"Oh, look, a barn owl," said Hollis as he proceeded along the street with her. "You know, I don't think I've ever seen one in daylight before."

The owl took off just as the door to the house opened. A particularly angry man stalked out, being followed by a rather harried-looking woman.

"I've had enough Jane!" he called, glaring briefly at someone hidden in the door's shadow. "First me Dad dies, now this? No. He's not going."

"Dan," the woman called, grabbing onto his arm. "Dan, think of the chances he could have. All of the possibilities-"

"What, and end up like Dad did, always muttering about how electricity is such an odd idea? Not happening." He shook her off with a twist of his shoulder.

"Do you really think you could stop him from going? Daniel, look at me. Look at me!"

Hollis looked like he was tempted to interfere. Not good notgood notgoodnotgood…

"Leave it Hollis."

"Ma'am?"

"Just… leave it."

--

Interlude Number Two: The Charge of the Light Brigade

--

It was really all about the badge.

These days, the badges worn with the uniform were made out of cloth, not the metal that they took their design from. The actual metal badge itself was carried separately, in a special wallet, the miniature shield hidden within a leather casing.

Neither would provide enough protection to hide behind against a paint pellet, much less a real bullet.

Still, it was the principle of the thing.

The epaulets, on the other hand, were still made of metal, even on the street uniform. Pips, stripes, and number, each made out of metal. What was really tough was that two sets of them had to be worn. One set over the bullet-proof vest, and one set under it.

It hadn't been like that when Gina had first joined up. Only the one set was worn then. Kevlar (or whatever it was that the things were made of; Gina wasn't too sure about the specifics. All she needed to care about was that they worked) vests hadn't been much needed.

Also, if memory served correctly, they hadn't dug into her shoulders so much.

But the badge… Never mind that the things weren't even worn anymore. They were supposed to be a shield, a symbol of protection. Not against the public, not even against the criminals, though some might view it as that.

No, the badge served as a protection against all those dark places that a copper must face in their career.

Those times that all seems lost, and that the option of packing all in seems like a good plan.

That's what the badge was really for.

Still, when one's personal 'weapon of choice' resembled nothing so much as a twig, complaining about the size of the shield that was meant to do all those things seemed almost hypocritical.

--

MTFBWY!

JK Fie'r


	6. tempus fugit

To Tickle A Dragon

By JK Fie'r

Disclaimer: I don't own The Bill or Harry Potter.

Warnings: Kiwi spelling

Other notes:

JK: Okay! After a long absence, during which I have been to Canada, returned from Canada, gained University Entrance, and founded a fanclub for Iago (as in the character from Othello), here it is folks, chapter five! At 535 words, this may be one of the shortest I've posted yet… but I don't care. BIG note at the end of this.

--

Chapter Five: tempus fugit

Subtitled: Time Flies

-

Superintendent Adam Okaro, Sun Hill, was staring at her.

Okay, so this was actually a perfectly normal occurrence for Gina.

Once upon a time (a time too long ago to be forgotten, a time too recent to be anything more than bittersweet) it had been perfectly normal for her to wake up and find Adam staring at her.

Smiling.

That was in the past.

"You're saying that there's been an… incident, and you didn't bother to inform me until now?"

An incident. Things like this were always just 'an incident'. It made for less problems in cases where subordinate officers overheard this sort of talk, but it was still… irksome. Times like this, she wished that those pencil-pushers over at the Ministry owned one thesaurus between them that hadn't been spelled to bite.

"The Ministry said not to worry about it."

"And you followed that order?"

"…It…"

And it _hadn't_ been an order, not an order per se.

And she couldn't bring herself to lie to Adam. Not after everything. Not after…

"It wasn't an order. It was… a suggestion."

"Do you just decided, for possibly the only time ever in your life, to follow the Ministry SOP, did you?"

Adam sounded more amused now than annoyed, though odds were even on which he'd pick in the end. And Gina couldn't really blame him for either emotion. After all, she'd lived with him for all that time, and he'd never known.

Of course, now he was a Superintendent. They were briefed on the existence of the Wizarding World after they'd spent two months in the job.

A sort of probation for senior officers.

"Look, Adam, I'm sorry. But if it makes you feel any better-"

"Gina."

One word made her stop. Adam sighed.

"Gina, I do know how difficult it is for you. This job is tricky enough without…" a pause. An almost-sigh. Almost.

"Without added weirdness?" Gina suggested, keeping the smile off her face, but deliberately not out of her tone.

Adam nodded.

"Gina, I want you to investigate this murder further. I don't care what the Ministry says. It's our patch, and like it or not, they have to respect our laws and values, not just their own."

Gina nodded. It was an opinion she tended to share.

So then…

Why hadn't she decided the same earlier?

"Sir. Investigate it my way, or investigate it your way?"

Adam smiled. God, but he could still set her heart aflutter with that look. It was like sunshine peeking out from behind a cloud.

No harm in looking. Touching was out, but no harm in just looking.

"Do what you can."

Which meant that she was allowed to use all the resources the station had to offer.

For Gina, it also meant that, if needed, _obliviate_ was permitted on any additional officers that she chose to involve.

"Time sure has flown, hasn't it Adam," Gina said, almost letting a wistful smile grace her lips.

"It'll only go and fly the coop if we don't get back to work," Adam replied, good humour tainting the words.

Bittersweet.

"Sir."

The moment was over. Back to work.

Gina left the room.

Merlin, but she could do with a ciggie.

--

JK: Some of you may or may not have noticed that some of the chapter titles are a tad… familiar.

There's a reason for that.

Latin is a difficult language to translate. It's not as difficult as English, but still kind of tricky. Most, however, tend to translate the Latin _into_ English, _not_ the other way around, as I am attempting to do with these chapters. Getting it into idiomatic Latin also poses its own challenges.

A rundown of that which has appeared so far:

fac dormitus canem: Now, I came up with the title in English, then decided that what I really needed was a gimmick. I had, however, already written the chapter. So, after much searching through my books, I managed to find my dictionary, and got the 'let', and then double-checked on the dormitus, so make sure it was accurate (participles are one of my weak points).

caveat emptor: Famous saying.

olim…: This is one of my favourite words in the Latin language. One little word, and it can mean 'once' (it happened only once), or 'once upon a time' (once upon a time, there were three bears…)

nunquam ora equii gratum inspice: My unofficial family motto. My grandfather made it up, and my Latin teacher corrected his grammar.

tempus fugit: Another famous saying.

From here on in, I will be telling whether or not I made the Latin myself, or stole from an ancient writer, or if it's a famous Latin saying.

Meanwhile, reviews are yummy.


	7. de gozaru OR es!

To Tickle A Dragon

By JK Fie'r

Disclaimer: I don't own The Bill or Harry Potter.

Other notes:

This chapter was going to be called '_fabula_ (Story)'. Then I wrote the thing, and it turned out that it fit much farther down in the timeline of this tale. This is the price you pay for only having a vague idea about the plot when you're writing. At the moment, the fic is writing itself. I am merely the medium. No, I still have no idea where it's taking me. Fun, isn't it?

Oh, and _please_ review this time? Only, I did work hard on the last chapter, and I haven't gotten any feedback on it at all. I even accept emoticons as a form of review!

--

Chapter Six: de gozaru

Subtitled (Archaic Japanese into modern Japanese): desu

OR

Chapter Six: es!

Subtitled (Latin): be!

-

"_Expelliamus!_"

Aw, hell. And the morning had been going so well…

Almost without thinking about it, Gina ducked the flying baton, wincing as muscles protested their sudden ill-treatment.

"I'm getting too old for this," she muttered, clambering back up to her feet.

Sergeant Smith was glaring from floor level, but seemed to be taking being hit by that spell pretty well.

"What the fu-"

Then again, maybe he wasn't.

"Language!" she barked automatically, and restrained a small smirk as the blonde assailant trained his wand on her.

She already had hers out, and aimed. Discretely, of course.

"Shut it, muggle, or you'll be next."

Muggle? She'd ducked the baton, hadn't she?

Now Gina _did_ smile, stepping forward softly.

"Stop moving muggle! I said stop moving!"

It was almost comical. Really, this guy had to be the stupidest Wizard in history.

Well, no. Tell a lie. She _had_ met Lockhart, after all.

Okay. Second stupidest. Moving on…

"It doesn't have to be like this."

"I thought I told you to shut up!"

Gina raised an eyebrow. She was not going to sneer, she was not going to laugh…

"No, you told somebody that you were addressing as 'muggle' to shut up. As my name is not 'muggle'-"

"_Stupefy!_"

"_Protego!_"

The shield shimmered into being around her just as the stunner hit it, harmlessly absorbing the spell.

Handy trick, that. Pity it made things a bit blurry for about a split-second; the expression on the guy's face would've been priceless…

"_Pertrificus Totalus!_" Gina hollered, while her opponent took his time in recovering from the shock.

The spell hit him dead on. No shield to absorb it.

Still, no sense in taking any chances.

Holding out her left hand, Gina added "_Accio!_" to the list of spells she was calling today. Wooden wand made a soft _thunk_ noise against leather gloves.

Low-level spells. Simple, easy to cast. Except for _Protego_, of course, but the shield was equally as useful, even if it did drain her.

Downsides to not completing her Hogwarts education were many and varied, and sometimes Gina wondered if she'd made the right choice.

"Ma'am, what the-?"

Right. No time for nostalgia, focus on the task at hand.

As if standing on a swivel chair while somebody pushed it, Gina turned.

"_Stupefy_!"

And that one was almost _too_ much. Gina barely had enough strength to call out the next spell.

"_Obliviate_!"

The room swayed around her.

Yes, Leglimancy was a high-level spell, but she'd done it often enough that she didn't need to think too much to control it. The Patronus Charm, yeah, okay, that one was tricky, but since it relied more on a person's self-assurance than actual magical ability, she _could_ manage it without too much difficulty, and-

Gina Read her prisoner his Rights as she cuffed him, careful not to let the process injure the literally spell-bound young Wizard. He'd committed a muggle crime, he'd be tried in a muggle court, and sentenced to a muggle sentence. This one was going to be done by the book as it was taught to the majority of Stanford's students, not as the minority knew the extras.

That done, she leant against the wall for a few slow moments, holding her wand in a death-grip, the other Wizard's tucked away in her pocket, echoing reminder of the last Wand she'd put in there.

MIT had no magic-users in its fold. And maybe that was a good thing. It certainly meant that Gina had almost free-range in a case such as this, should she choose to exercise it.

Oh, yes. Some of the questions with _this_ young man weren't going to be recorded using conventional (or rather, _muggle_) means.

Gina groaned quietly, carefully pushing herself away from the wall.

The prospect of yet more paperwork was _not_ filling her with any kind of joy.

--

Note on the chapter title: It's impossible to translate 'desu' into concise English with any reasonable degree of accuracy, and something that isn't concise makes the title lose its impact (ah, the age-old problem of translating – little note: I HATE Ablative Absolutes. Just to clue you in here). 'de gozaru' is an archaic version of 'desu'. About the only real way to put it is to say that it's every possible form of the verb 'to be' and a few forms of 'this/that is' too. One of the better ways of putting it that I've seen, however, is '_existence_'. This exists, that exists, I exist as, and so on and so forth. So, to sum up, this chapter is called 'existence'. It's not in Latin. Bearing in mind that some of the spells that are used in HP are not in Latin either. _Avarda Kedavra_ is Aramaic, and Harry himself uses a spell that uses the English words '_Point me_' in Goblet of Fire.

That said, despite the original chapter title, I still decided to give this a Latin name as well. 'es' is the Present Imperative form of the verb 'to be'. As such, it is a command, and not a _statement of being_; but any other form of the verb, when translated back into English, simply doesn't have the right level of… well, I guess the word would be impact, really.

As for the inspiration for this title, I have been reading _A Rurouni's Guide to Idiocy_.


End file.
